Something was desperately missing from Tiger Woods at the U.S. Open playoff. There is seemingly no connection between him and his surrounding environment. His “gaze to nowhere”-definately not at you-and body language, were Obama-esque. It was worse than Kobe, pre-Schilling smackdown. Is it just sporting arrogance or worse, indifference? No one wants to root for a pre-programmed robot. Beware the pursuit of excellence that produces utter exhaustion, and not just by the viewing public!

What do you give the man who has everything? More! Kobe, Tiger & Red Auerbach’s legacy have it all, and still want more. Another title. More U.S. Open’s. Another Larry O’Brien trophy. On Father’s Day Tiger plays for a Major in his hometown, for the first time without his Dad present. Paul Pierce and the Celtics play in the Finals for the first time without Red. Deep down they all seethe like Kobe.

The Red Sox were heartbreakers before they won two championships, and captured the affection of dancing sportsfans across America. The Patriots followed a similar path until the gloom and Belichick doom cast a pall over New England. Now, here come the geeked Celtics, a trio of exciting veterans in the twilight of unfullfilled but ridiculously compensated career$, seeking redemption or Donna Summer, with a “let’s dance, the last dance, last chance…” America’s Teams? Or Dancing with the Boston Sports Stars”?

Image is everything in pro sports, and playing the game just might be easier than maintaining your public image. Try hitting a 95 mile per hour fastball. Whif. Okay. But now try having hoards of freaky strangers (fans) stare you down like a piece of hamburger, and watch your every move, beg for your signature, every public moment of the day. Double whif. Image is also very important to large corporations where the fate of many is tied to sport teams. Or is it? Are the New England Patriots a sports business? Or are they an entertainment and construction company, currently building a large, very expensive shopping mall that hinges on the Patriots image. Touchdown. And don’t let the door hit you on the way out, Coach Belichick.

Pro basketball looks and feels like professional wrestling, of the Jessie Ventura kind. Players flop and fake fouls, then plead their comic case. Coaches preen in a zoot suit with an exaggerated look of frustration. The music is too loud, the lights and confetti are ridiculous, the dancers belong in a strip club, and no one watches the game. Instead, fans stare at the giant scoreboard over the court which tells them what to say in between video of dancing fans.

Baseball is an intimate sport. On television, during each at-bat, four times a game, the camera gets in very close to the athlete’s face and body for an extended period of time. Same with the pitcher. Thirty years after a player’s career is over, a backyard wiffle ball game will likely feature his mimicked batting stances and routines. Fans carry baseball images with them their whole life, and apparantly to the end, hoping to scatter their cremated ashes at a most familiar home plate.

Woody Allen, New York intellectual, has sat courtside with season tickets to the Knicks for over thirty years. He says he loves the drama and uncertainty of sports. One week you’re unbeatable, and the next week you get swept by the Devil Rays. Today the best team in the playoffs face-down the Atlanta Hawks, but you have to watch because they just might lose, and wouldn’t that be amazing to see. There are more important things out there, like interminable political elections, but men both high and low in life spend their time transfixed by pro sports.

Six wins in a row by the Red Sox in April, beats their longest streak of five wins during the entire 2007 “Champions Again” season. Papi’s non-hitting streak is over, and Youk continues his streak of errorless games. Although MIT Sox fans helped start a cottage industry of statistics concerning baseball, arguably the single greatest streak in American professional sports is the eight championships in a row that the Boston Celtics won from 1958-1966. They are favored to win it again this year, which would make it, even with the Patriots heartbreak, the winningest year ever for Boston sports.

Big Papi’s hitting slump, and Papelbon’s (body double) butt-slapping donut commercial have caused the local media to criticise the practice of endorsements as distracting to Red Sox player performance. But these financial extras are necessary to keep up with obscene salaries that larger cities and teams can pay their players, such as the dreaded Yankees. If Boston sports heroes like Ortiz and Tom Brady are encouraged to take a hometown discount at contract time, their ads should be seen as a welcome reward from local businesses, and also confirmation that we are winning championships!

The private sector is driven by instant results through social networking sites, on-line business sales, information and email. The public sector has snail mail, and now snail elections that move at a 10,000 B.C. pace. The Presidential election is slower than the open to the Red Sox season. Just as the Red Sox trip to Japan was more about business, and not baseball, the Presidential election is about celebrity and money, and not about public policy. Hillary & Barack agree on 95% and differ on just 5%. They’re on the same team! So quit your clubhouse fighting, get out on the field and play the Republicans!